If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May,
You may live in Canada.
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there,
You may live in Canada.
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Canada.
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number,
You may live in Canada.
If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of Detroit for the weekend,
You may live in Canada.If you measure distance in hours,
You may live in Canada.
If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once,
You may live in Canada.
If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' and back again in the same day,
You may live in Canada.
If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching,
You may live in Canada.
If you install security lights on your house and garage but leave both unlocked,
You may live in Canada.
If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them,
You may live in Canada.
If you know what "Hosers" and "Newfies" are,
You may live in Canada.
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit,
You may live in Canada.
If the speed limit on the highway is 80 km, you're going 90, and everybody is passing you,
You may live in Canada.
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow,
You may live in Canada.
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction,
You may live in Canada.
If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car,
You may live in Canada.
If you refer to your neighbors to the south as "North Americans",
You may live in Canada.
If you wonder why some of these surprise some people,
You may live in Canada.
Update
I forgot the most important one:
If you know in the depths of your heart that the Stanley Cup ought never live anywhere south of the Mason-Dixon line,
You may live in Canada.
