A friend tells me he considers any day a success when he can cause someone to laugh hard enough to involuntarily expectorate on his or her shirt. Well, the authors at the Shrine of the Holy Whapping have done it again with their short biography of St. Malachy O'Less who, "unlike his illustrious sibling [St. Malachy O'More], did not have the gift of prophesy, and instead forgot nearly everything that occurred to him in the past. As a consequence, he became famous as a great confessor." He may have been a writer, although "an epistle bearing his name that denounces Thomas Kinkade as a sign of the Apocalypse is thought to be apocryphal, as is another fragmentary prophecy which alleges the anti-Christ will come to earth in the form of a velvet painting of a crying clown. "

To top it off, the author responds to a commenter who is transferring his affections to St. Malachy from that great philosopher, Mediocrites. "Mediocrites...I love it! Author of "The Phido," about his dog, "The Apology," in which he says he's sorry for wasting so many people's time, and the "Nicotimachian Ethics," describing the moral ramifications of smoking. And then there was Barmenides, who owned a pub." (Matthew of the Holy Whapping.)

These are all Notre Dame students. When, exactly, do they study? And does it matter?

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