Step right up, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! Here's the gadget you need to make sure you allocate mercy in the most cost-effective way. Don't forgive anyone more than you absolutely have to. There's only so much goodwill to go around, you know, and you don't want to run out early.

Your Brain is 60.00% Female, 40.00% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

Interestingly enough, this is a subject my husband and I would joke about. We thought of ourselves as role reversed -- I was the data-seeker, and he was the warm listener. I'm glad to be recognized as a credit to my own sex for a change.

To the chagrin of the news agencies, there is absolutely nothing that any of them have been able to do to influence the papal election. Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger, bane of the left and darling of the center, is now Pope Benedict XVI. May God bless him and us.

The always entertaining Tom McMahon provided this culturally-appropriate graphic for those of us in the United States.

After many years of John Paul II, we will likely have to get used to calling the Pope by a new name. (He could always choose "John Paul III," but I imagine he will realize that he will have a hard enough act to follow without making it more difficult by suggesting the direct comparison.)

Henry is among those suggesting appropriate possibilities. I would like to offer some examples of names for which there is papal precedent but which perhaps are less likely or desirable:

• Hyginus
• Sisinnius
• Deusdedit
• Formosus
• Agatho
• Zozimus
• Hilarius
• Simplicius

Here are some names that have been used before that are more contemporary and "cool" than the above list:

• Zachary
• Victor
• Stephen
• Theodore
• Martin
• Nicholas

Then there are the names for which there is no precedent but might be choices worth considering:

• Andrew
• Matthew
• Luke
• Titus
  
• George Ringo

Therese Z. over on Exultet (my second home) came up with the great idea to post the 10 things we wish we could do before we die. Here's my list.

1. Have a private audience with the Pope
2. Spend a month in Tuscany
3. See a huge azalea garden in bloom
4. Crew a sailboat in the Port Huron to Mackinac race
5. Listen to my son’s first sermon
6. Become a fabulous grandmother to as many happy, God-centered families as possible
7. Defeat my habit of embroidering the truth
8. Have a long conversation with some of the nuns who blog at Moniales
9. Win a prize
10. Get really good at ballroom dancing

I collect lightbulb jokes. These delights are stolen from Julie at Happy Catholic.

How many Christians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three, but they're really only one.

How many Amish does it take to change a lightbulb?
What's a light bulb?

How many charismatic Pentecostals does it take to change a lightbulb?
Hard to tell. All their hands are in the air already.

How many Christian Scientists does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. He prays for the old bulb to come back on.

How many Unitarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
We believe that incandescent, fluorescent, tinted, or three-way are equally valid paths to light, and if, in your journey, you have felt the need to change your lightbulb, we are holding a lightbulb service on Sunday at which you're welcome to recite a poem or perform a dance about luminiscence.

I have found the a capella singing group with the best name ever.

I'm a fan of the comedienne Rita Rudner. Although nothing compares to hearing her inimitable deadpan delivery, her material is funny even on its own.

Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they'd say "Thank you." That graduated into "Have a nice day." That’s now escalated into "You care care of yourself, now." The other day I paid my check – the waiter said, "Don’t put off that mammogram."

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

When I meet a man I ask myself, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'

I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior."

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of "rich" usually cancels out the nice of "bald".

I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.

Never play peekaboo with a child on a long plane trip. There's no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by the bib and said, "Look, it's always gonna be me!"

The beautiful weather was icing on the cake. The Tigers are on top of their division; like last year, this is expected to be temporary. Dmitri Young is on pace to hit 486 home runs. And, once again, Alan Trammell looks younger than I (probably also temporary).

Detroit is smiling.

I was out to dinner with friends tonight. I came home to find that my daughters had been madly cleaning and making lists of the things that need to be done in order to get the house ready to put on the market. I was very glad and touched by their teamliness.

From planning and listing, we wandered onto the topics of the Pope's imminent homegoing and what a conclave is like, the short reign of John Paul I, and the Terri Schiavo case. Meandering onto the thin ice of the absence of true checks and balances anymore, they suddenly began an energetic and heated (though polite) debate on regulatory overreach as it might apply to the proposed FDA regulation of vitamin and herbal-supplement manufacture.

These are not the most politically involved of young women. These sorts of debates haven't taken place that much within these walls since my son married and left to have them with his new wife. I was totally charmed and almost spoiled my poker face with a big grin. I speedily left the room so I wouldn't yield to the temptation to put in my $.02 and break the momentum. They're still hard at talk, though I think the late hour will eventually win out.

Family life is fun, especially when kids become capable of scintillating conversation with enough good sense to back it up. Now, off to bed with me. Someone has to exercise a little prudence around here.

Roz finally gets what she deserves.