If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.

Dave Barry

A tip of my ladylike chapeau to Mark Shea.

If I ever get around to compiling a collection of notable blog titles and subheaders, this gem will be among the first. (HT Right as Usual)

"Like the fella says, in Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love - they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock. " (The Third Man)

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I love it. Dr. Dobson as written by Ezekiel. Thanks to Julie D. at Happy Catholic.

Bite not, lest you be also bitten. Neither drink of your own bath water, nor of the bath water of any kind; nor rub your feet on bread, even if it be in the package; nor rub yourself against cars, not against any building; nor eat sand.

Leave the cat alone, for what has the cat done, that you should so afflict it with tape? And hum not the humming in your nose as I read, nor stand between the light and the book. Indeed, you shall drive me to madness. Nor forget what I said about the tape.

Click through for more.

I'm knitting so much that I decided to start a dedicated blog. It's called "Knit, Frog & Tink, Inc.". Check it out for an explanation of the title.

I wrote a post on Exultet about how to select a good husband. (No offense to you gentlemen who also might be able to make use of the suggestions, but I cannot pretend to know anything about picking a wife.)

Although I keep thinking of new items to add to that already voluminous list, I thought I'd veer elsewhere here and let you all know my tips for early detection of someone who has no business on your eligibility list.

Here are indications of crummy husband material:

• His first gift to you is a poster showing Superman busting out of Kryptonite chains.
• You have conversations consisting of, "I don't know, what do you want to do?"
• He spends a lot of time worrying about why you are yelling at him.
• You spend a lot of time worrying about why he is yelling at you. Or at the cat.
  
• He laughs so hard at his own jokes that he can't enunciate the punch line.
• He carries on conversations with other people while he's on the phone with you. You never find out what those conversations were about.
  
• You have heard him make rude noises with his hand and armpit.
  
• In the back of your mind, there's a suspicion that he might be using you. (You're undoubtedly right.)
• He needs you, he really needs you, and it's not a good time to stop seeing him right now.
• He loves you so much that it takes almost nothing to make him jealous.
  
• He is your first boyfriend. Or, he's your second boyfriend after the first one broke up with you.
  
• He's always asking how much something costs. Or, he never cares how much something costs.
• He blows off commitments because people will certainly understand.
• He whines.
• Even your friends who have confidence in your judgment tell you to think again about this guy.
• He has terrible experiences in his background, but he assures you he has put all that behind him and it will never bother him again.

And the top way you know to show this guy the door is:

• When you tell him your parents are stupid, he agrees.
  

Here's an updated view of my broken foot. Note the removable boot (for sanitary purposes only) with the tasteful block M on the strap.

Even the prosthetic devices in my house cheer for the Wolverines.

Sigh.

(Update: "Yep. It's broken. Snappo!" Extra credit for anyone who identifies the source of that quotation in the comments. My kids are ineligible -- sorry, guys.)

(Final update: Not enough Bill Cosby fans read this blog. The quotation comes from the Cosby Show episode in which Clair obstinately clings to her independence (and triumphs in the "Smooth Contest") in spite of her broken toe. I do not share Clair's attitude: I am happy to acknowledge that there are things I cannot now do, and I in no way am inclined to challenge anyone to a "smooth contest." But then, I don't look like Clair, either.

From Lark News, sort of a baptized version of The Onion.

CINCINNATI — Mike Thomas, 23, enjoys cultivating a close relationship with the Holy Spirit, but some friends say he’s become too familiar with the third person of the Trinity.
When they call to ask what Mike is doing, he now tells them, "Me and HS are down at the coffee shop."

"It took me a while to figure out who ‘HS’ was, especially when I would get there and Mike was alone," says a friend.
Lately, Mike tells friends he’s "hanging with the Ghost."
"We all know the Holy Spirit is with us, but it’s hard for us to relate to him like Mike does," says one friend.
When the group heads out to dinner or a movie Mike sometimes pauses and says, "Hey guys, let’s not forget the Ghost."
When they meet new people, Mike introduces himself — and the Holy Spirit.
"It’s a little awkward when you’re meeting girls," says one friend. "They’re like, ‘Who else you got with you, Casper?’"
When Mike arrives at church for worship he has started announcing, "Woohoo! Another dose of the Ghost." He has even been heard to say during praise time, "You are the Ghostest with the mostest."
Mike also insists that people call the third person of the trinity "Holy Spirit" rather than "the Holy Spirit."
"Holy Spirit is a person, not a thing," he chides. "Do you want people to call you ‘The John Smith’?"

Friends say they appreciate Thomas’s close relationship with the Holy Spirit, even though it’s making their social lives challenging.
"We’re asking Holy Spirit to talk with him about it," they say.

Would you like a little catechesis with that whopping helping of casual presumption, sir?