1. Before you put the cat out, check to see whether you've got the one whose front claws are intact.


2. Don't wait until your carpets and upholstery are irretrievably soiled before getting them cleaned.
   


3. Roll your windows up, no matter how hot it is.


4. Those shoes you're sure are broken in -- aren't.


5. If you set the timer for something in the oven, stay within earshot of the timer.


6. Time passes far more slowly for the elderly than it does for the young or middle-aged. If you say you'll call, they'll start anticipating it later that evening.


7. Traffic signals are engineered to detect drivers who are late for work and teach them a gentle lesson.


8. It is never worth going to the store on the Friday after Thanksgiving. 


9. It is never worth putting off Christmas shopping until December 23.


10. When you're deciding what to do in an urgent situation, don't forget to ask yourself the question: "What's the worst thing that can happen if I do nothing right now?"
    
    

You have just received the Amish virus. Because we don’t have any computers or programming experience, this virus works on the honor system. Please manually forward this virus to everyone on your mailing list and then delete all the files from your hard drive.

Thank you for your cooperation.

The Amish Computer Department

Thank you very much, Julie

Yes, it certainly is easier to strike up a conversation with someone in virtual space, especially if you've got yourself a hot-shot avatar.

However, in the real world, chances are you may need to equip yourself with more than wit and like-a-flash typing speed to successfully begin to get to know that interesting person.



From the imaginative Indexed you keep hearing about from me.

From FailBlog. Caution: most of site deserves a Vulgarity Alert.

Found on My[confined]Space

More remarkable graphics at Share Some Candy.