I chortled when the Huxtables admitted that they loved the first day of school because "we get the house back!". I admit that I am not a big "doter". I love children, particularly my own, but I have a low tolerance for anything sappy.

I might not be alone. For others of my ilk, here's a list of the Top Ten Least Popular Bedtime Stories.**

10. Run, Kids, Run! Keith and Becky Discover Uncle Pete's Hornet Farm

9. And Who Will Help Me Fry The Chicken? - The Colonel teaches Henny Penny A Lesson About Whining

8. A Child's Illustrated Treasury of Rodeo Accidents

7. Nippy the Infectious Chihuahua

6. A Critique of Kantian Metaphysics and Ontological Presuppositions-for Kids!

5. The Day Barney Caught on Fire

4. The Adventures of Milo, the Obnoxious Intestinal Parasite

3. Babaar the Elephant Gets Gunned Down on Safari

2. The Big Red Fire Engine Meets the Little Engine That Could In a Fiery Head-on Collision

1. Otis the Hungry Rottweiler Meets Shaun, the Magically Delicious Leprechaun

** These were required reading at Mean Mother School from which, as my children will tell you, I graduated with honors.

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